A Lonely Man, A Lesser Man
by kiwiOCD
Summary: He knew it would be different, He just didn't realise how much he had lost. Pre Season 6 Episode 1 and a bit of an overlap in Chapter 2 Now M
1. Chapter 1

**A Lonely Man, A Lesser Man**

**Summary - He knew it would be different. He just didn't realise beforehand how much he had to lose. Pre-S6 Episode 1. One, maybe two, shot.**

**Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows! All the other legal stuff applies too.**

* * *

**First Class somewhere near the East Coast.**

He's homeward bound.

Well heading to New York and the Loft.

Which doesn't feel like home these days.

His mother had done her level best to distract him, even arranging 'play dates' with the Boys from a surprisingly cooperative and sympathetic Captain Gates.

Nevertheless the Loft feels empty, the City too, both resonating with the absence of the two most important women in his life.

Leaning back in his seat he knows they'll be landing at JFK soon. He caught a mid-morning flight out of LA as he knew it would be quieter especially here in first class. The ever attentive stewardesses had got the message, and after his lunch and some autographs and a couple carefully posed candids had left him alone.

He rests his eyes, and lets his mind wander freely. Something he'd been avoiding lately. At least for most of the book tour least it overwhelm him.

He knew the separation, their separation, would be a test. They both did. They had discussed it in-depth especially once they had found a place in DC and it all became too real.

Right now he's a lonely man but he knows that will pass.

But right now he also feels like a lesser man. He's not sure when, if ever that will pass.

They knew it would be different and at times difficult. The time apart. Her new job. No longer partners. Just didn't comprehend how much the last would hurt with the ache of loss that hasn't left him yet, if it ever will.

The positives continue to astound him and maybe her.

How his second favourite word – and it's inching closer to the number one spot - trips from her mouth unfettered with such frequency. It's like the dam has burst and all these waves of love have been released over a non-existent wall. He knew if he had kept count – and he tried in the beginning but gave up when it became impossible to keep a mental tally – she would have said it more. If putting a ring on her finger was the trigger then he should have done it sooner.

The way she smiles and is around him. It's like the final remnants of that bloody barrier have gone and she's free to love him as she wants. It's the surfeit of tiny and not-so-small things that say so. The winks, the looks, the glancing and not so fleeting touches, the apartment in DC they chose together, the post-engagement portraits that adorn the Loft, their apartment and their phones.

She calls and messages out of the blue. He knows she got into trouble at least once for it but heard her rebuff her trainer – he can't bring himself to call the person Kate's partner. That's still him . Or he fervently wishes it was still so.

The post engagement sex had been fantastic but it's been almost six weeks since they were actually with each other. By far the longest they've ever been apart. Never so long apart again. Ever!

He had given in to the demands from Paula and Gina and gone on an East coast book tour. As fucking bad timing would have it the middle weekend he was away was actually the first weekend Kate had secured off and managed to keep. She had offered to fly out – breaking the rules that say she has to remain close to DC - but the tiredness evident in her voice was so strong she caved early on his insistence that she sleep and relax let alone put her job at risk for him.

She's cancelled on him twice. They're not keeping a tally and what's more surprising is that they talk it through each time. Maybe not on the first call which is often rushed but they do later. Without fail. The bitter lessons of those weeks before he asked still resonate with both of them. Vaughn, conspiracies, federal task forces, secret job interviews and job offers, doubts and uncertainties unvoiced and festered. Things that almost broke them. They have actually moved on from them, it would be too clichéd to say it has made them stronger. Different. He'll settle for that definition for the moment.

Phone calls, messages and Skype help but lately it's just increased the frustration.

Sure he wants her bodily. Since that night more than a year ago it has been rare that either had denied the other, themselves. The last month and a half had only exacerbated impulses already heightened by their engagement. The physical longing is so strong but despite this they've pretty much resisted the urge to curb the want by any other means. Except that one time at the start of the book tour. Both in beds separated by a continent. Short panted phrases and demands down a phone line and rapid release amidst mutual guilt for not being strong enough to wait, all despite their reassurances to each other over the same line afterwards.

He misses their partnership.

Right now he's lonely. So lonely.

Aside from their family and close friends the engagement has not been publicised. They want Kate to complete her training before going public. They had actually sat down and discussed it and agreed on how to handle this. His mother and Lanie had wanted them to go public – 'Girl you need to announce he's off the market' but they had been steadfast about giving Kate the best possible opportunity at her new job.

Paula and Gina have been remarkably understanding about it, to a point, and to their advantage. It had cost him dual coast book tours and a promise of an overseas tour next year some time. And an eventual reveal – Page Six, the works. Kate had been surprisingly okay with that. Really. Seven weeks later he was still surprised, almost shocked by that.

But most of all he feels like a lesser man right now. And he doesn't know how to fix that. If he'll ever be able to fix that. Because he's no longer her partner in every sense. After spending so many years proving himself worthy, the one thing that defined all their time together –even when they weren't - is lost to them. Probably forever and he doesn't know how to come back from that loss.

The time spent at the Precinct with Ryan and Espo simply makes it worse. He had to cancel their last fortnightly game night because of the book tour and hasn't the strength to admit to them that he cancelled their one before that because he was holding a personal pity party at the Loft with a good malt and some of their photo albums. He knows his mother had found him asleep on the couch with one of Kate's jumpers in his arms but didn't say anything the next day, just gave him one of those looks that conveyed sympathy and support.

The cabin announcement for preparing to descent for landing has him opening his eyes.

He's not normally that guy. He's the optimist, the giddy child. Who knew getting engaged – for the third and last time he reminds himself – could make him so serious?

Alexis is due home next week and before then he has a weekend date with Kate in DC. He doubts they'll get out much and he's fine with that. Really fine. But parting will be hard and he hates himself for his writer's mind that has him imagining their leaving before they had even kissed.

As the plane begins its slow fall towards the empty city, he brings his game face and Richard Castle makes a public appearance. The twinkling eyes, the cocky smile. He's got this. At least long enough to reach the Loft and drop the pretence.

He's a lonely man right now but he knows she can fix that, will fix it.

What he's far less certain of is how she can fix how hollow his life feels now that he is no longer her partner. He definitely is the lesser man for it and he wants nothing more than for her to fix the holes in his heart and his life. But it's something that he's not sure even his extraordinary fiancée can do. Certainly not from DC or at least from different cities and jobs that don't allow them enough time together.

Not for the first time he has doubts.

But he didn't spend five years fighting for her to turn away now. Not when she's in it as much as him.

Partners.

They promised each other always and now they have the ring and her acceptance to signify that commitment. He's going to marry Katherine Beckett and he's truly happy about that. If only it didn't seem to have cost him something that he's come to treasure almost as much as the woman herself.

There's a dull thud as the wheels touch down and the copilot's voice drawls through the cabin announcing their arrival.

He needs to shake the funk off. In a minute or two he'll get off the plane and go grab his cardboard doppelgänger and head home to the Loft. Go check out what damage his mother had done to his alcohol stocks and possibly other salient features before heading to DC and Kate.

* * *

**Author's Note**

**It's a pre-episode one-shot but given my Beta (thank you!) has pretty much demanded a follow-up chapter we may well see a second chapter (that might bump the rating to M) as salacious details have been requested.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Not so Immediately

**A Lonely Man, A Lesser Man Part 2 – Not so Immediately**

**Summary - Continues on from the first chapter and follows their bathroom reunion and her demands.**

**Please note rating change to M. If you're not of age or offended by sex and swearing please turn back now.**

**Disclaimer – even in my wildest dreams I don't own Castle or any of the characters. If I did, you'd see way more than primetime TV allows! All the other legal stuff applies too.**

* * *

**DC**

She's late leaving the office of course. She'd stayed until McCord and most of the others left. Like usual. She never gets away on time here. Perhaps it is a bit like she used to be in New York. Probably not. Nothing to go home to, not even a bath, just an empty bed.

But it's different now. She resents it, like it's not her choice, but it was. Her decision. She's here because of her decision and Rick's support.

She knows this is her third cancellation. Against his one. They've promised not to count. But then they've promised each other so much. Some are so easy to keep. Others not so much. But they are working on it and communicating. Talking despite the distance. Every day without fail. It's become her rock without him by her side.

She had declined a lift. As a trainee she doesn't rate a car yet and anyway the apartment doesn't have a parking space. McCord or one of the others sometimes picks her up, mostly if they have a case.

Decided to walk anyway. Perhaps her intention was to clear her head but it's achieving the opposite as so many things jumble together with only the dull wash of exhaustion to push her muddled thoughts around.

She's bone tired. She know it shows in her posture and her face in those rare unguarded moments when she's sure no one else is watching. Feels in the drag of her feet as she strides towards the apartment. She misses her heels. Everything here is regulation, practical. No fun.

Central DC is a ghost town after dark and if she wasn't a cop, or rather a federal agent, maybe she'd be a little spooked but the only people she sees on her way home give her a safe margin perhaps catching sight of her badge clipped to her belt or the parkerized butt of her service piece revealed as her light summer jacket flaps.

Deciding that she did want to use the time to think as she walks, she forces some order to the fragmented tracks in her mind.

For the first time in years, she doubts her abilities and even more deeply who she is. She's had doubts before especially with her PTSD, but not like this. When she's uncertain right to her core who she is. In this incarnation. With a different badge, a different city, a different partner. Without her one true partner. Not what she wants. More importantly what she needs.

She's pretty now sure she's made a mistake. Her own mistake. Taking the job. Putting her professional ambitions ahead of them. She knows he'll forgive her, probably faster than she'll forgive herself. His big heart is one of the reasons she loves him so. But it's not fair on him. So much of the two months since she said yes has not been fair on him. And she wants to fix it. But she's not sure she can from here. Not sure she wants to from a distance.

The loneliness is one thing but she misses him just as much at work. No one to yank her pigtails. McCord doesn't do CIA agents, conspiracies, mob hit theory because it's all real. All too real.

Today's training. A fucking Kobayashi Maru mission. She smiles to herself at the reference and she knows Rick loves the geek behind the badge. Regardless there was no way out of the training mission especially not for her dumb-arse rookie mistake. Not from three to her chest. She felt that. Still does. As she lay there in the immediate aftermath she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't actually hit. Too fucking real. Until his voice bought her back. 'Stay with me Beckett. Kate I love you.'

Tampering down the urge to scream, she had almost told McCord and company where to stick their job especially when later she had to cancel on him.

Another week apart, two if they keep to the training schedule. That would be two whole months. She doesn't want to do it. She'd give anything for him to be here. Wishes he was less dedicated to sticking to the ground rules they had agreed.

Keying the code at the gate, she's now climbing the single flight of stairs on autopilot.

Finally reaching their apartment she fumbles for the key. More evidence of how run down she is. The place is more hers really – at least at the moment, on a month-by-month lease. He hasn't been here in almost six weeks, the last time before her training and probationary period began in earnest. Every fortnight was the plan that never survived the cancellation of their first scheduled weekend together.

It's small and compact. Just one bedroom, lounge cum dining with a small kitchen at one end, bathroom – no bath! – plus a small utility. Something she could actually afford on her own salary even in DC. But she's not paying for it on her own. She has to ghost a wry smile. He actually talked her into a joint checking account. Her pay and a matching deposit from him. Partners. Equals. She likes that a lot. She's told him so. And showed him. He liked that a lot too.

Entering she leaves the lights off. Closes the door and slides the deadbolt and keys onto the small table. In the dark, she has no need to see the evidence of their separation still boxed throughout the room. No need to look for a travel bag and the owner who won't be there. Sliding her jacket off she hangs it on the back of a chair.

It doesn't feel like theirs. Like home. She's barely unpacked. She could argue that it because she doesn't have the time. But that's not the truth. They didn't bring a lot but most of their belongings are still in boxes. The truth is she doesn't want to unpack. She's not brave enough to take that thought to the logical conclusion. Not yet. Not without him.

She moves into the bathroom, unbuttoning her blouse as she goes. She fingers the pair of rings that suspend above her heart. One for loss and one for hope. At least that's what she tells herself, even though at times both drag heavy on her. She wants to wear his on her finger. It belongs there and she with him.

There's movement behind her and in a blink of an eye her gun is up and she's ready.

"Rick?"

Instantaneously there is no room in her head for the introspection and self-doubts. She just wants him.

And he obliges.

* * *

**Some hours later, Their bed, Their bedroom, Their apartment, DC**

He comes awake feeling her hands glide over his naked body. She's not quite naked. Yet. Her panties remain. They never came off in the bathroom, simply pushed to one side. Then yanked bank in place, mostly, after to catch the worst of their collective fluids as they sunk sated together into their bed and slumbered together.

"Hmmm" his voice is low and all on its own is dirty enough to trigger sensations in both of them.

She cups him and delights in the response. In the twilight of their room her mouth and eyes light up with un-suppressed glee and then her orbs darken in desire. His reciprocate.

Both heads lead in and when close enough their tongues dance against each other, then taking it in turn to push and plunder the other's mouth. Their bodies slap together already heating the space inside and around them. In synchronicity their feet push the covers from the bed.

* * *

When breathing demands they break slightly apart, lower portions and legs still intertwined.

"So the phone call?" Her tone is so breathless and flirty.

"Hmmm?" His voice is deeper, closer to a growl. Akin to a promise of more.

"Do you remember?" Oh she's persistent.

"Um yes!" He's still slowly coming awake but even so he is pretty sure that every moment of their phone sex is etched in his mind.

"Everything?" Inquisitive woman!

"Oh YES." A pause "Everything." It's all coming back to him.

"All the things you promised me?"

"All the dirty, nasty things you promised to do to me."

"What do you want Kate?" It's a low growl, so suddenly truly male. "The exact words?"

"Oh Yes. I want you to be precise. V-e-R-y, very, e-X-ac-T. With your words Writer-Man. With ME. With my body." She fights fire with fight her own voice lower, huskier and quite frankly unashamedly dripping with anticipation and want.

"Oh I can do that Detective." He almost catches himself, but too late for the words that escape.

Even in the twilight of their bedroom Kate is so close she can read the hurt on his face so she does the sensible thing and kisses him until he can barely remember his name, let alone her previous title.

"Kate. I'm Kate. Your Kate. Your fiancée Kate. Future Mrs Kate Castle." She reinforces the names and titles that matter.

"Hmmmm, I like those names. Very much. Like you too. Very, very much."

"Backatchya"

"So what was first?" She pop quiz resumes.

"Clothes." He's smirking at her. And ogling her body. Equally unashamedly too. She loves it.

"Kinda pretty much there already." She answers arching her back just enough to make her breasts distract him some more.

Not quite. He snags the corner on the panties on her hip and rips them sideways with surprising speed and effect and tosses them away from the bed. Okay she's naked now.

"I liked those."

"Buy you more." She glares at him. But he doesn't notice. He's staring at her. Right at her. Down there. She's blushing just a little. She's not usually self-conscious at all. They've seen each other naked so many times and he knows how secure she is in her body after their spending at least twenty-four hours naked for their marathon celebration of their engagement.

"Castle, eyes up here for a minute." They don't move.

"Can you concentrate?" There's a huff of exasperation tinged with amusement.

"Oh I am." He responds before asking his own question.

"When did you?"

"Oh. We had survival training the other week. Two days in wetsuits. Chaffing. Took it off the night in between."

There is a barely there wash of fine stubble across her pubis. She thinks he likes it. More than likes it. There are certainly clear indications of that. She smirks and runs her finger gently along his length and salivates at his bodies betrayal of just how much that glancing touch affects him.

"Castle concentrate! Drool later." Oh God she's missed their banter. Even during sex. Especially during sex. She's never had anywhere near as much fun with anyone before.

"Are thinking of me in a wet suit Castle?" She can play too.

"I can multitask. And no, more out of the wetsuit, mostly." She smacks his chest. Swears she hears him mutter 'So kinky' sotto voce. If she had needed it, her anticipation is heightened further.

"Okay. Clothes done. Not how we did it on the phone. Slow. Sensuous." He's back on track but concentration clearly focused on her mons and she can almost feel the heat his intense gaze brings. Oh she's missed this so, so much.

"Then?" It's a tad impatient but so is she. Oh she has no time for slow. Not right now. Not tonight. They can make love later.

"My mouth and my tongue. Yours too."

"Where?"

"Everywhere." She is sure her skin tingles as his cerulean eyes burn across her body and his voice echo's that desire.

"Your face, your neck, your clavicle, your breasts, your breasts, not forgetting nipples, your abs, your arse, your thighs, your calves, your feet, your wet…."

"Castle you said breasts twice." She cuts him off before he vulgarly but accurately identifies her core.

"Uh hun. I can count." Back to her breasts again. He does like them a lot and has amply proven so with considerable mastery many times.

"Your said mine too. My mouth and tongue."

"Uh hun. Hands and fingers too." He's right into the swing of things here. "Um. Solo or together?"

"Together!" she commands and the smirk falls from his face replaced by a dark intensity that leaves her breathless before they truly begin.

Wordlessly they fall into position as Rick rolls onto his back and scoots down the bed. With her usual grace Kate both reverses her body direction and mounts over him in one movement.

They don't speak.

* * *

He's tongue fucking her. There's no other term for it. He doesn't seem to care that remnants of their mutual discharges from their frantic reunion in the bathroom just a few hours ago are pooled there. He had carefully parted her folds and stabbing directly into her before sweeping over her nub. A pattern he repeats and already she's so far gone she can't and won't control the instinctive grind of her onto his face.

She can taste them on him too. She's concentrating hard – oh that's so very apt - because she momentarily loses control at times with his tongue in her and she doesn't want to bite down. Not yet anyway, and certainly not as hard as her uncontrolled shudders imply she might.

"Fuccck Castle!"

"We'll get to that. Patience Woman. I'm busy."

She squeezes her thighs together in exasperation. Hard. All she gets in response is another rendition of 'Kinky!" in his deep bedroom whisper.

"You talk too much"

And then he doesn't.

* * *

She hadn't made him come yet but he was close and her body was still vibrating with the last of three quite intense but different orgasms of her own. First the big one, and twice with little ripples that are still shaking her.

Lying on her back as her legs still have the consistency of jelly, Rick moves over her. His body eclipsing hers. As he does her right hand pushes against the centre of his chest to hold him there whilst her left secures around him. She can feel it pulsing, jumping a little, the moisture of his own pre-cum and her saliva more than enough especially after his preparatory work down there.

She rubs the head over her mons and he giggles and his body twitches as the sensitive glans brushes across her pubic stubble. She does it again with the dark fire of her lust echoing in her eyes. His are locked on her face and she knows he's committing it to memory. She bites her lips, and lets a low groan escape past the kiss-swollen entrance, and his control breaks.

Then he's slowly sinking in. It takes more than a moment for her to adjust to him after six weeks. It feels wonderful, almost like new but at the same time comfortingly familiar.

When he slides home that is truly the connection they make. This is home for each of them. Both of them. The geography is different, the person they are with isn't.

The honesty on their faces is brutal. She knows this is it for her and for him too.

He kisses her, his face still dewed with her discharge and her tongue tastes herself and him. They move together, slower than both want, much slower than she or he needs. The calm before the storm. They exchange kisses without talking, and a minute or two passes measured only by the slow languid strokes of his presence.

His pace increases but now her legs have recovered, and she wraps them around him to signify that it is time for a change of position and to pick up the pace further.

She flips him, with a bit of practised cooperation from the man himself. In doing so he slips out and he slides past her and nudges further along the smooth dewy valley. The head momentarily rests against her other hole and whilst they have never done that, the sensation from there is almost compelling. She wiggles and giggles as she feels his slick length slide along the crack, her nerve endings flaring with the thrill. She rocks herself back and forward several times and on the third pass he slides back home just as his hands settle on her breasts.

Her nipples are almost impossible sensitive now but Rick somehow knows just what to do to permit her to allow him to continue to play and lavish them. As she rides above him, she feels herself building again. He could orgasm here to but she knows how she wants to finish and suspect he wants to as well.

"Rick?"

He withdraws and damned if she doesn't whimper. Loudly.

There's not ego or smirk on his face, only a near manic intensity. One had reaches out to stroke her cheek before she is turning away from him and kneeling on the edge of the bed.

The bed was almost their one concession to DC as a home – bought after some definitely risqué evaluation in a store in a DC mall. It was just the right height for this. Scooting her knees back just a little as she adjusts she senses his presence before he nudges along her valley. Her head drops forward just a little and she knows it's the almost perfect angle.

He attempts to reach round to her breasts but they are much too sensitive now. A subtle twist of her body is enough for him to recognise and withdraw his hands to settle onto her hips.

She reaches back between them and locates him. Slowly at first, she rubs him across her entrance and he groans. She does too. Introduces him to her and then out again. Repeated three more times each with mutual groans.

Then without further ado he pushes deeply into her, and she grinds back against him. No quite full penetration yet.

The pace picks up again and they don't speak, the air heavy with the sounds of exertion, and as it does he goes full stroke. She grunts at the sensations and one hand sweeps over her clit, just the slightest contact is needed. She hesitates seeking the perfect moment for both of them.

It only takes the slightest of touches and she is tightening around him. Holding him. She feels the first pulse and then more as his release overwhelms him.

The guttural cry that escapes him is almost alarming in its intensity.

* * *

He falls onto the bed on his back chest heaving.

Sated she drops by his side taking in his features in the dusk.

"Good job Partner." She tells him with a smile.

His face falls. Oh God. What has she said? What has she done?

* * *

She drags him to the bathroom so they can clean up. She's fixing this now.

"You coming Castle?" He sits up and lurches to his feet, face fixed in some attempt at a neutral mask. She's not buying it.

"Let's clean up and then talk." She instructs and takes his hand and gently pulls him towards the bathroom.

They don't say anything as she cleans both of them. He's a mute Colossus in their tiny bathroom. She lets her eyes talk for her, and pours her heart and trust through her green irises and there is recognition and acknowledgement in his.

Finishing she gently leads him back to their bed.

* * *

"I'm not your partner anymore Kate. Not as I was." Mournful. That's the only word she can ascribe to the complete loss that resonates from him voice and his posture.

"God I love this, traces his finger over the ring, and you. Being engaged. Committed to one another and our promise to be married. But to be honest I miss what we were too.

"I miss being your partner so much." He pauses and Kate takes the opportunity.

"I'm not sure I can do this. It's so unfair on you. Both of us really.

"I love aspects of my job, but I hate some even more. It's what I wanted but also what I feared.

"We don't see each other. I know we agreed for you to stay away during my training except the scheduled fortnightly breaks so I could concentrate but that has so clearly not work out for us. To be honest I don't see the demands on my time changing if, when I come off probation. Worse there could be a lot of travel. It's a small team and a lot of territory to cover."

He nods hearing her words but with so much uncertainty about their direction his face is frozen in that dreadfully familiar expression of half fear, half anger.

The last six weeks had been effective at one thing. Breaking the incommunicado over their relationship. She doesn't even hesitate before seeking to wipe that mortifying look from his face.

"My training officer is like a future vision of my old self. Before you. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward with you. With our lives.

"I want to come home to my husband every night. Come home to my family every night too. I can't even see how being married is compatible with this job, let alone with kids." He can't keep the smile from his face and she's relieved to see the light return to his eyes as she knows he is remembering their very naked and honest talk about their dreams and desires.

"You've given up so much for me Rick. Now and in the past. I don't want your future, and ours, to involve having to make such significant sacrifices. To make either of us lesser, or both of us.

"I don't want to lose everything you have given me, including yourself. I don't care if that sounds selfish because I love you more than anything. I made my choice more than a year ago, and I know I've wavered at times, but I'm sticking with it. With you. I just want you Rick. Nothing else matters as much. The ring means so much more to me than saying yes to marrying you Rick. It means a lifetime. Partners. Always. I'm not going back on that, so we need to fix where we are."

He interrupts her.

"Kate we knew this might, most likely would happen. Especially during training and probationary phase. I don't want to be the reason you quit. That you don't give this opportunity the shot it deserves. I know you can do it." Even now he'd sacrifice his happiness for her.

"But I will admit to being lonely. Really fucking lonely sometimes. Alexis is never home even when she is in the same city and mother rarely.

"You remember how we promised to be honest with each other." She nods, fighting back the first tear.

"The loneliness isn't the worst. It is how diminished I feel because I am no longer your partner. Not being there. Not sharing." She resists no longer and the tear silently trickles down her cheek.

"Oh Rick. Love, I suspected some of this but I'd didn't think it could or would be this bad."

"Nor did I. It wasn't initially but I've been back to the Precinct a few times. Gates has actually let me back in to work with the Boys. I think she may like me. Or at the very least feel slightly sorry for me. But being there without you, or here but not able to be your partner. Much worse.

"So much missing. You. Missing us. Partners. No more."

"So what do you want to do?"

"Kate, I'm too tired to talk it out properly now. Suspect you are too. Perhaps tomorrow. I know you've got work but we've got plenty of time to fix this and anything else. A lifetime."

"Hmm, sounds good. Perhaps you could stick around a day or two. You know break the rules." She's smiling now despite the tear tracts on her cheeks.

"I'd like that. I love you Kate." His own guarded smile answers.

"I love you too Rick. I'm not sure I can ever say it enough.

"We will talk this through properly. Maybe not tomorrow but soon. Like we promised each other and we'll fix this Rick. Not immediately but we've got all the time in the world."

* * *

**Author's Note**

**Thank you for the reviews of the first chapter. I'm glad that my ideas resonated with many of you.**

**As requested by the inimitable eyrianone, this chapter is more from Kate's perspective. Or at least the beginning and the end are.**

**The middle section is for purplangel. I hope this lives up to the teaser ;-)**

**This may well be it for this story. I'll leave it to others to explore the post episode storylines this is more me trying to roughly pencil in the gaps between the swings and DC.**

**Overall it is more angst-y that I originally intended to write and my usual work. But no take backs.**

**I should probably get back 'One of Us' and it's soon to be published M rated partner 'Two of Us'.**


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